smile

Xanga is Corrupted

2005-02-23T11:04:00.000-06:00

I heard from someone that Xanga has a virus or something? So I don't wanna sign in and get it. Strange, I'm sitting here... skipping class because I'm too comfortable in my bed. That hasn't happened very often in -this- particular bed. I really like this feeling...

I'm having a tough time making it through this semester, for several reasons that don't need to vocalized to the world wide web. But, there is something I need to express...

I'm feeling detached. Good and bad, really. On the good side, it's liberating. On the bad side, it's really upsetting because the things I'm feeling detached from I had felt so connected to not too long ago. Or maybe I was never that connected and I just pretended I was. Who knows? In the meantime, it's left me confused. Torn. Lost. Should I try to re-attach myself to what I'm drifting from? Or sever the ties and be done with it once and for all? Or perhaps I should just accept it for what it is and live with what its become?

There are so many things that bother me... Annoy me... And what tears me apart over it is that I cannot decide if I'm asking too much or they're giving too little. Who has the right answer? I don't think anyone does.

What do I do?

Heh

2004-09-22T15:15:00.000-05:00

Going back to my xanga for a little bit. I'm not really feeling the whole blogspot look right now.

http://www.xanga.com/talagangawesome

Drama Queens

2004-09-04T15:46:00.000-05:00

I'm getting really tired of all these pristine little girls complaining about how "hard" things are for them. I'm sure they're difficult, but I doubt they hold a matchstick to what I've been going through for this past year. Of course, how could anyone know what I'm going through... and how can I expect anyone to understand if I don't publicly announce or bitch about every little issue I'm having to deal with. Hm, but wait a second... that just proves how much stronger I am and how pathetic their cries for attention seem.

Girls, you need to start wiping up your own tears and soldiering on without the rest of the world feeling sorry for you. If I can do it. You can too. Quit pitying yourself and getting "annoyed" when someone else doesn't feel the need or doesn't have the time to pity you too. Perhaps... just maybe, these other people have higher and different priorities. If you think that it's because they don't care about you... you've got deeper emotional issues that I suggest you fix right now. All it's doing is making you look very sad to me. Very, very sad. Too damn bad. Suck it up, babes. They're done feeling sorry for you, I'm done feeling sorry for you... and you should be done too.

Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get the hell over it. kthnx! :)

Seriously...

2004-08-29T17:19:00.000-05:00

Oh my God. Get over it. It's getting sad. kthnx.

Just chill-axing

2004-07-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

Nothing too much going on on my end. Just kinda posting for the sake of posting. Don't wanna get behind on the events of my life. HA! As if there was so much to talk about.

ANYWHO!

Lately I've been hanging out with Jane a lot. It's really cool to bond with her just because she's a lot more mature than most of my home friends. I mean, granted, she's still in High School but seemingly she's closer to my level than a lot of the people that are in Tinley Park. I don't know. It feels good to hang out with someone that looks to you for advice. It's almost flattering. But equally, she makes sure that I don't stop being silly. With her new found boything/friend/guy/whatever, I never realized how much her and I have in common... just our thoughts and insights on relationships, friendships, family, etc. It's refreshing to have a friend that knows what you're going through.

Backtracking a bit, I mentioned that Jane seems to be more mature than my other home friends. Maybe that was kinda harsh of me to say. It wouldn't be fair to say that I don't think other people have matured. Perhaps it's more accurate to say that the people I've known back in High School have just grown in a different direction than I. Moreso, I think I've changed a lot more, not better or worse, just more. With that in mind, I'm sure a lot of my "home fries" (as Mike puts it) aren't necessarily adjusting as easily as I hoped. They see an altered version. Kinda like a new College Edition with splashes of the classic High School Nikki. I don't know how many times they've "called me out" on my behavior because it wasn't "typical." I always chuckle and nod in agreeance - but deep down I know that I'm happy with who I've become. Before this turns into a "What College has taught me and how I've grown" cliche blog... I'm gonna change subjects.

Don't get me wrong. The home potatoes are superb and I am so grateful for everything we've been through but I am also happy about all the new relationships and friendships I've made too.

Or even rekindled. For example. Michelle and I are no longer friends. We're not even best friends. I can confidently say she is my sister. Through thick and thin. Through boyfriends, family... name it. We've gotten through it all. I mean, how many years did we lose contact? 4? And we've still picked up where we left off. I never have to worry about drama with her. I don't know. I'm not gonna beat his topic to death. I'm just glad she's a part of my life. :) Granted, we've spent way too much time together... and we should take a break... cause I'm so sick of her. hahaha... jay-kay. The best part about fantasies is that they never go away, Chelle. Someday... In our dreams, we'll finish that list.

ANOTHER change.

2004-07-12T22:17:00.000-05:00

I'm sick of trying to update and impress people with some stupid template and design for a website. Come here if you wanna read about me. If you want a pretty picture, the art museums have free admission on Tuesdays.

I'm here to write. To tell you about my life and give a pretty honest analysis of it. So there.

Testing

2004-06-14T09:33:00.000-05:00

Hi.